As Useful As A Catflap
by Miss Peg
Summary: The touch of Emily's hands digging into Naomi's thigh sent a shiver down her spine that left her gasping for breath as she pulled away." / It's the start of the summer after series 3; Naomi and Emily are about to go on the first official date. / ONE-SHOT


_**Disclaimer:**_** I don't own Skins, but I don't think they gave the Fitch's a cat either.**

_**Author Note: **_**This fic is for lil-c/rommsel, as requested. I'm sorry, it's probably not sexy or funny, but I hope you and everyone else enjoys it anyway. Thanks to hac92 for some words which helped prompt ideas. Please review.**

The catflap was the first thing Naomi spotted. It was in the distance, a small, animal-sized entrance to the house she had only been inside once. She carried on walking, the tiny door growing the closer she got, until all she could see was the distorted glass. Naomi rapped her knuckles against it and waiting patiently for someone to open the door.

'Oh hello, you must be Naomi,' a tall man greeted, an insanely large and somewhat terrifying smile spread across his face as he stepped aside to let her in.

'Yes,' she managed to whisper back, his stupid grin making her feel a little uncomfortable in his presence.

'Ems is just finishing getting ready, why don't you come into the living room?'

Naomi followed the man, who hadn't even introduced himself. She figured he was probably the elusive Rob Fitch; father of Emily, Katie and James. They sat down on opposite seats, his eyes fixed upon her, never wavering in their attention. She tried to look away, tried to focus on the tiny stain on a cushion. But it was impossible.

'Is everything okay Mr Fitch?' she asked, careful to work her question without any assumptions of judgements.

'Everything's fine. Now, my Emily is a good girl, alright?'

'I know.'

'I expect her back in one piece,' Naomi noticed the hint of a Liverpool accent as Rob continued his protective speech. 'Just because you're a girl, doesn't mean I expect anything less of you. Do you understand?'

'I understand.'

'Now you look after my little girl, or I will be forced to do something I don't really want to do.'

Naomi nodded, muttered her reassurance to the man who's smile still looked frighteningly large. She wondered if that look had every scared away any of Katie or Emily's possible partners. Silence filled the room, a tension growing as the two of them waited for Emily.

She hated tension, 'What's your cat called?'

'Our cat?' Rob asked, frowning. 'We haven't got a cat.'

'Oh, I just assumed,' Naomi sighed, the tension barely wavering.

'Alright Naomi,' Emily's voice broke apart the tension, prompting Naomi to stand up quickly, her hand instantly linking with Emily's. She wanted to kiss her, to pull her into her arms and slide her tongue into her mouth. But that perfect grin had returned and the wandering gaze of Rob Fitch left her a little scared to do anything except smile at her girlfriend.

'Ready?'

The two girls left the house, their fingers clutched tightly between them. Naomi didn't let go, needed the comforting touch until they were three streets away. A row of terraced houses ended and the last one in the row continued onto the street beside it. Naomi forced Emily round the corner, not caring that it was in the wrong direction as she pushed Emily against the wall. Her hands came up around Emily's cheeks, her lips crashing against Emily's. The touch of Emily's hands digging into Naomi's thigh sent a shiver down her spine that left her gasping for breath as she pulled away.

'Hey you.'

'Hey you, yourself,' Emily grinned, leaning back in until their noses touched and their eyes locked.

'You ready for our first official date?'

'Definitely.'

*

The high street disappeared behind them, along with a group of teenage boys who had sent dirty taunts their way, after noticing them holding hands. Naomi gave them the finger and was quick to guide her girlfriend away from the repulsive teens. She could feel Emily's hand shaking under her grasp, wanted to ask her if it was the cool evening or the date that was bothering her, yet couldn't find the words to speak.

'Wait until you see this place Emily,' she finally whispered, trying to focus on the date rather than her own nerves. 'It's beautiful and the food is amazing.'

The restaurant came into view; the usually pristine sign appeared broken in several places. Naomi's eyes narrowed, her heart drumming in her chest as she realised how run down the place looked. She glanced at Emily, who looked just as unsure back.

'I promise, this place was okay the last time I came, but now,' Naomi drifted off.

'It's okay.'

The assurance made Naomi feel better. She led them up to the door, pushing on the frame and tugged Emily into the restaurant. A strong smell hit them instantly; weed. Naomi could recognise it anywhere. She tried to ignore it, allowed the waiter to offer them a table by the window. He tried to light a candle that didn't want to stay lit, eventually gave up and placed a fake, battery powered one in between them.

'Well, this is, okay,' Emily smiled, her eyes betraying her positivity.

Naomi rolled her eyes. 'Battery powered candle, hardly romantic.'

The waiter returned with two glasses of wine that they hadn't ordered, said they were 'on the house' which made Naomi suspicious when he started ogling them.

'You two lovely ladies here, together?' he asked, his tongue running along his lips.

'Yes,' Emily answered before Naomi could speak. She couldn't explain it, but she got a weird vibe from the man.

They ordered their meals, sipped on their wine and tried to talk about the summer ahead of them. They didn't get very far when the waiter interrupted them again, placing a basket of rolls on the table and pulling up a chair.

'Sorry to intrude,' he wasn't, Naomi noted. 'But I just wanted to make sure everything was okay.'

'It's fine,' Naomi snapped, glaring at him until he finally left.

The train of conversation evaporated into thin air and a layer of tension surfaced. Naomi chewed on her lip, folding her napkin into a bird as she avoided looking up at Emily. It was a disaster and all Naomi wanted to do was get out of there.

'I don't like this,' Naomi sighed, looking up.

Emily looked at her, her eyes shallow and confused. 'Oh.'

'No,' Naomi gasped, reaching out to Emily's hand, sandwiching it with her own. 'Not you, not the date. This place, it's disgusting; I don't think we should stay.'

Within seconds the waiter returned with two plates full of food, exceptionally quick. Naomi shared a doubtful look with Emily, watched the waiter until he finally left them to it, constantly gawking at them from his stool by the bar.

'I don't know what this is, but it isn't chicken,' Emily muttered, running a dirty fork through the food.

'Fuck this,' Naomi snapped, standing up so fast that her chair fell over.

The waiter appeared at her side, picked up the chair and asked her how she was doing, whether the food was okay. She wanted to scream at him, more so when he reached a hand out to her shoulder and let it slide down the side of her arm.

'Get your dirty fucking hands off me,' Naomi shouted, ignoring the one other couple in the place and pushing away the repulsive man.

'I'm sorry, is there a problem here?' a second man came over, his overalls covered in crusty old food.

Naomi shook her head, rolling her eyes at the two men as Emily joined her in standing up, 'No it fucking isn't. I don't want this, we're leaving. Think this place needs a visit from the fucking health inspector.'

Before the two men could speak, Naomi had already dragged Emily outside. Her hand wrapped protectively around her girlfriend's waist until they were a comfortable distance from the horrible restaurant. Once they'd reached the river, Naomi stopped, resting her hands against the barrier. Tears stung her eyelids, threatening to fall, a couple escaping when Emily's hand touched her shoulder.

'It's okay.'

'No it fucking isn't,' Naomi called out, turning around quickly, her hand flying out almost colliding with Emily. 'I'm sorry. I'm fucking useless.'

'Naomi, it's okay,' Emily assured her, squeezing her shoulder, slipping her other arm around her waist until she rested her head against Naomi's back.

The close contact settled Naomi's anger, sent her back down to earth until her frustrations had vanished and her own arms were wrapped around Emily's back. They stood staring out across the estuary for a while, the sky deepening with the arrival of summer.

*

'Biggest fucking disaster ever,' Naomi snarled, her foot sliding through the gravelled floor until a flurry of dust and stones became unsettled.

'Naomes, it's fine,' Emily tried, but Naomi was already in a rotten mood.

She rolled her eyes and sighed. 'Try and do something nice and Christ, that man was a disgusting perv and the food. Why did I think that would be okay?'

'You didn't know,' Emily muttered, squeezing gently on Naomi's hand in the hope of reminding her of her comforting presence.

'Stupid fucking idiot, I should have checked. I'm so shit at this girlfriend thing, what do I know about dating someone?'

The path became obstructed, Emily's hand sliding out of hers as the red head fought with Naomi's mouth for attention. She stopped, allowed her eyes to stare back at Emily's brown ones and waited while she cleared her throat, getting ready to speak.

'I don't care.'

'Charming,' Naomi rolled her eyes, interrupting Emily without a second thought, until Emily's hand landed across her mouth.

'For once in your life Naomi, shut up!'

It shocked her, she'd never really seen Emily so blunt before, not to her anyway. She nodded, unable to resist the confidence in her girlfriend.

'So the restaurant was a bit shit, the waiter was a wanker and the food looked like something a dog had throw back up. But lets forget about that, yeah? Lets walk through the McDonalds drive-thru, buy a bottle of vodka from the off licence and go back to mine.'

'And have fast food and alcohol with your scary, health obsessed dad? No thanks.'

A cheeky grin distracted Naomi from her little rant, until Emily's lips pressed against her. 'Forget about him and my mum, trust me, I know the perfect place we can be alone.'

Naomi raised an eyebrow, watched Emily as she started to walk off. The slight confident swagger in her step, the way her hips moved side to side with a hint of Katie in them. She tilted her head, analysed her body for a moment longer before Emily called after her and she was forced to run to catch up.

*

By the time the Fitch house was in view, Naomi's bad mood had levelled back out. The two girls walked side by side, eating chips out of happy meal boxes and crashing into each other whilst swigging on the bottle of vodka.

'So where do you go that's private?' Naomi asked, chewing on her lip. 'Cos Katie lives in your room so we can't go there.'

'We're not going inside,' Emily noted when Naomi took steps closer to the front door. Emily reached a hand out and took Naomi's, the two girls walking around the side of the house until they reached the colourful garden at the back.

'Wow,' Naomi gasped. 'This place smells like my washing machine after a load.'

Scoffing loudly, Emily shook her head rolling her eyes as Naomi glared at her. 'It's a garden Naomi, not your fucking washing machine. It's nature, it's _real_, not some chemicals mixed up to give off the same scent.'

'Still smells like my washing machine,' Naomi sighed, walking across the luscious, thick grass and spinning around to get a full view of the whole garden.

The lawn was a reasonable size, big enough to kick a football back and forth yet not big enough to play properly. Round the side of the house was a small patio area lined with potted plants and by the kitchen window a row of herbs. A tiny smile appeared as Naomi imagined Emily leaning out of the window to chop off a sprig of parsley to put in a meal. Even under the faint light of the automatic garden light, she could make out trees and flower beds, all carefully decorating the garden, a colourful border that made Naomi want to dance around with sickly sweet glee. She thought about her own garden; small, full of overgrown grass and dead bushes they should have been removed years ago. The odd flowers still appeared every year but most she could never tell if they were weeds or not.

'This is, wow,' she gasped, unable to take her eyes off it.

Her eyes were pulled away when Emily reached out to her hand, stepping in front of her again. Bright red shining under the garden light, the best and brightest colour around them. The only colour that had ever gained Naomi's full attention just by being present. Naomi grinned at her, allowed her to take her off to the back of the garden, through a flowery archway until they reached a hidden section that reminded Naomi of 'The Secret Garden', a book her mum used to read to her as a child. A large, wooden structure distracted her attention.

'You have a treehouse?' Naomi asked, rhetorically as she stared up into a large oak tree. 'Bet this was so much fun when you were younger.'

'I wish!' Emily moaned. 'We only moved in a couple of years ago. Even James isn't interested in it anymore.'

Naomi rolled her eyes, stayed silent until they'd clambered up the tiny ladder into the small house. It was spacious, more so than Naomi expected. The wooden floor was carpeted in the middle and at the back was a tap attached to a hose pipe. _Running water. _Naomi laughed, the alcohol getting to her head as her instability forced her to sit down. Lying on her back, Emily joined her on the floor.

'What's so funny?'

'You don't have a cat and you and your siblings have never played in the treehouse.'

Emily frowned at her, 'No.'

'Emily, this thing is as useless as your catflap,' Naomi scoffed, pulling on the packaging of her Happy Meal toy.

'No, it's as useful,' Emily winked, staring at her with lingering eyes.

Naomi analysed the little plastic mirror toy, a distorted image staring back at her prompting her to throw it across the room. 'Useful? How?'

'Have you forgotten about holding hands through the catflap?'

'Of course I haven't.'

'This treehouse is just as useful as the catflap,' Emily pressed, not quite saying the words that Naomi wished she would. 'If not more.'

Words became useless as Emily shifted closer, interlinking their fingers and kissing her lightly on the lips.

'Oh.'

'Now do you see what I mean?' Emily noted, Naomi nodded.

A hand sliding around Naomi's back, pulled her closer. Emily's fingers trailing up underneath Naomi's top, playing with the fastener on her bra which came open quickly. The kisses intensified, Emily's tongue massaging Naomi's with hunger and excitement. Naomi reached up, grabbed at Emily's hair, careful not to tug too hard but still getting the handful she needed to keep up the rhythm of the deep kisses.

'I fucking love you,' Naomi moaned into a kiss, allowing Emily to pull her top up around her shoulders and toss it aside, her bra sliding off with it. Emily hesitated for a moment, staring at her body in the dim light, licking her lips and biting down on her bottom one until their lips collided in passion.

Naomi assisted her in removing her own clothes, a slow process savoured by kisses to the skin. Neck, shoulder, breast; until they lay together, naked against each others bare skin. Naomi rolled onto her back, pulling Emily on top of her, wrapping a leg around the back of Emily's knees to pull her a little closer. Their tongues danced together, kisses moving back and forth across necks, cheeks and collarbones. Emily moaned as Naomi's hand travelled down to her thigh, rolling her onto her back so that Naomi could take complete control of the situation.

The location and slightly cool evening breeze faded away as passion reached its peak. The two girls collapsing together, their fingers creating tiny patterns across each others skin, their lips pressing tiny love filled kisses on top of their invisible lines and their breathing evened out.

'Wonder if this place has had so much action,' Naomi giggled, pulling Emily tightly into her arms.

Emily raised an eyebrow, 'You'd be surprised.'

Naomi let go, sarcasm in her voice, 'I really wanted to know that.'

'Not me,' Emily gasped, hitting Naomi gently on the arm. 'My fucking sister.'

'Oh right. Still not really any better,' Naomi sighed, pulling Emily back into her arms again.

One of the small windows framed the moonlight perfectly, stars flickering around it. The evening had started strangely, gone pretty badly but as they lay there together, Naomi knew it had ended well. Romantic even. It gave her hope, made her want to scream in excitement at how amazing being with Emily was.

'Fucking, fuck,' a voice screamed out from the garden, forcing Naomi and Emily apart.

'What was that?' Naomi gasped, reaching for her clothes. Replacing her bra and pants before Emily's laughter stopped her in her tracks. 'What the fuck is funny?'

'I forgot, Katie sometimes sleeps here when she's had too much to drink.'

'You have got to be kidding me,' Naomi sighed, slipping a t-shirt over her head.

Emily shrugged, replacing her own t-shirt. 'I wish I was.'

A silhouette appeared in the doorway, followed by a number of swear-filled complaints. Naomi rolled her eyes, tried to catch Emily's attention and voice her rejection. But Katie was on the ball.

'What the fuck Emily?' she slurred.

Emily raised an eyebrow. 'Get the fuck out.'

'I need to sleep,' Katie groaned, half-falling into the space in the middle of the treehouse, right in between Naomi and Emily.

'You heard her Katie, we're in here,' Naomi tried.

'Fuck off you dyke.'

Naomi rolled her eyes, chewing on her lip to stop herself from saying more than she knew she should. 'I love you too Katie, now get to fuck.'

'No, I'm sleeping.'

'No you're not, we're in here tonight Katie. Go find somewhere else to be a fucking bitch.'

'Don't go fucking while I'm here,' Katie muttered, her words distorted by a yawn.

Naomi tugged on her arm, attempting to shift her from the floor. 'Katie, I'm serious, get the fuck out.'

'Naomes, it's okay,' Emily sighed, giving in.

'No,' Naomi snapped. 'It fucking isn't. She can't be here Emily.'

'I think it's a bit late for that.'

The two girls stared down at Katie, her breath evened out, a slight hint of snoring coming from her mouth. Naomi took a deep break, tried to stop the overwhelming urge to pick up her girlfriend's twin and throw her out of the door.

'It's okay,' Emily whispered, lying back down on one side of Katie.

'No it's not,' Naomi sighed, lying down on the other side. 'I wanted to sleep with you in my arms and now she's taking up all the space.'

'It's okay,' Emily repeated, reaching a hand across Katie's back until her fingers collided with Naomi's elbow.

A smile crept onto Naomi's lips, she reached her hand out and interlinked her fingers with Emily's. It wasn't ideal, but the evening had ended so perfectly, she didn't want to ruin it now. So she squeezed gently on Emily's fingers, leant up, prompting Emily to do the same to kiss her goodnight, before the two of them lay back down, falling asleep with their hands together across Katie's back.

_The End._

**If anyone has any ideas for one-shots, or random words they think should be in a story (e.g. this one I got treehouse and garden, which created the whole outdoors theme) then feel free to tell me then and I'll have a go.**


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